


Deep Throat is Not a Type of Pizza

by TurtleTotem



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [27]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Pizza Place, Charles You Will Be Drunk, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 08:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16889184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/pseuds/TurtleTotem
Summary: Not!Fic in which Erik delivers pizza and Charles is drunk and inappropriate.(On Tumblrhere.)





	Deep Throat is Not a Type of Pizza

When Charles gets lonely, he gets drunk. When he gets drunk, he gets hungry. When he gets hungry, he calls for a pizza delivery.

Every Friday night, Erik knows he’s going to get this drunk idiot on the phone, saying increasingly inappropriate things without seeming to realize it. He’s actually very amusing in a harmless-perv kind of way. And what’s really hilarious is how much he sounds like Erik’s pompous, arrogant, tight-buttoned “Intro to Genetics” professor. Obviously not the same guy – the phone number is registered to someone named Darkholme – but it’s funny (and weirdly hot) to imagine stuffy Professor Xavier singing a drunken ditty to him about sausage.

Then one week Erik gets put on delivery instead of phones, and meets “Professor X-rated” in person.

(There’s also some stuff about plagiarism, tenure, disappointed Jewish mothers and an exploding pizza oven. Skip to Chapter Twelve for Charles and Erik’s screaming argument about Punnett squares that ends in sex on the kitchen floor.)


End file.
